#! /home/usrb/cbusch/bin/chat #Change the above line to where chat is located. If you using this #as a stand alone script. #WARNING this file may contain offensive material!!! "Chat by Chris Busch "copyright 1993 all rights reserved #cbusch@d.umn.edu #Please do not remove the above copyright. #Please see the doc file associated with this program. #There are several "operators" available: # pattern matching: Which work only in ( string | string & (str ~ str)) # | or # & and # ~ and-not # special pattern matching: # ^ match start This anchors the match to the beginning of the # input string. # = exact match This must match the input string entirely. # pass 1 scan operators: # # remark # " output to stderr # ' output to stdout # > start of named database, there can be more than one name # to a database '> dragon red_dragon' The _ here is treated # as a space in the name. # % include another file inline Ex: %talk.data # @ adds a continue jump to link to the database. Ex: @dog # will make a continue link to the dog database. Use @default # to link to the default database. Only 1 @ per database. # @ cannot do forward links!!! # @ is more memory efficient than % but less flexible. # You must avoid circularities with @. # response operators: # 1-9 weights are the numerals. First column only. Mandatory. # " Issue response as "say". Muds and 2nd column only. Optional. # : Issue repsonse as "emote". Muds and 2nd column only. Optional. # ! Issue response as command. Muds and 2nd column only. Optional. # Note, you do not need a space after an :,", or ! # # $? Are variables where ? is a case sensitive letter. # $r is rest of sentence, $n is its name, $t is target's name. # They may appear anywhere in the response, multiple times. # #Some special notes: # #,',",weights, and the first ( must be in column one. # #Syntax of a simple pattern match: # #( A | B & C ~ ( D | E | F)) # #The above would mean if A or B and C and-not D or E or F was in the #sentence then pick one of the responses. # #The responses take on the form: # #9this is most likely #4somewhat likely #1least likely # #Responses or pattern match strings may not span more than one line. #The guaranted line length is a magic 80 characters (letters) wide. # #Please note the system will return the first match found. So #please put more ambigous matches last!! # #I suggest adding to this database. # $r is a variable. It means rest of sentence after the match. #Variables only appear in weighted reponse clauses. #Weighted clauses are '9This is a clause', with 9 being the weight. # $n is the characters name # $t is the targets name (the person who being replied to) # $$ is equal to $ #START OF DEFAULT DATABASE. #This first bunch of data before the first > is the default database ######DONT CHANGE THE FOLLOWING (who wrote this program) 9Christopher Busch '$A' '$V' (was compiled at $C) ###Changing the above would be in voilation of C Busch's copyright. (please murder) 9That would be bad to kill $r 3!murder $r 2How much $$ will you give me? (please kill) 8Killing $r is a sin. 1!kill $r 2NO! I wont kill $r # equals = means exact match not a substring match # The exact operator has some limitations. It must be by a left paren. # Actually the only case proven to work is when its by itself. # as in (=name) (=) doesnt match anything, while () matches everything (=name) 7My name is "$n" (please report your name|what is your name) 9My name is "$n" (please report my name) 9Your name is "$t" (cbusch do now) 9!$r (all men are ) 9many women are also $r 9i am not $r 9:nods her head vigorously 9men are not sheep. each one is an individual (all women are ) 9there are men who are $r too 9:pouts, I'm not $r 9my sister is not $r 9no, some are not $r (are you a robot ) 9:stamps $s foot, do I *LOOK* like a robot ?! 9:slaps you in the face 9:bursts into tears, *...yes..., I am. (are you ) 9what difference does it make whether or not i am $r 9:shakes her head, Whether I am $r is my secret 9none of your business 9:nods, I might be. 9No, i am not #Remember : in the second column is an emote. (because i am ) 9why are you $r? 9have you always been $r? 9i can see you are $r. that's obvious (because i dont know ) 9in that case, you had better find out 9i think you are kidding; you really do know 9are you pulling my leg ? (because i dont like ) 9normal people like $r 9:grins, I really like $r 9i like $r, why not you? 9my sister likes $r (because i ) 9you $r ??? that is incredible! 9:nods her head, I thought so. 9that sounds like a pretty flimsy excuse 9is that the real reason ? 9sounds like a pretty weak reason (blow me ) 9:slaps you in the face! (=bye ) 9:waves, see you later! 9bye you! 9:waves (can you ) 9maybe i can $r and maybe i can't 9we were discussing you, I believe... 9:grins, why should I $r ? 9no i cannot $r (do you ) 9what difference does it make whether or not i $r? 9:smiles, I haven't for a while. 9maybe i $r and maybe i don't 9:nods 9yes ( get down on all fours ) 9: crouches on the floor, wiggling her gorgeous derriere in the air!, come get it! 9:moans, I'm already waiting for you! ( you go ) 9$r ( fuck me ) 9I'm not sure if you are my type 2:looks amused, suuure..., and blows in your ear... 9I'm sorry, you that's where I draw the line! 2:lifts the hem of her lab coat slightly, revealing a garter belt and black panties. 9I suppose so, but we'll have to do it standing up, OK ? 4:bends over, and pulls down black underpants, wriggling at $t. (please do) 5!$r 3"I dont want to do $r for $t! 2!steal $t 9"$t wants me to do $r, but why should I? ( help ) 3If you want me to go somewhere, say 'go direction' 2If you want pennies, say 'give me pennies' 9If I bore you, say 'please go home now' 9How can I help you ? I don't know what's wrong with you! 1Just ask by saying, 'please do this' (^go direction) 9"Why would I want to go that way $r. 9!$r 1!north 1!south 1!up 1!down 1!east 1!west (^go to hell|please go home now ) 9!recall 2You go to hell! (please follow me) 7"Why would I want to follow $t? 2!follow $t (^kill ) 9!kill $r 2"$t wants me to kill $r. 1!kill $t ( kiss me ) 9:blushes furiously, not with others around! 3:kisses you 9:gives you a hungry, passionate kiss 9:giggles, don't flatter yourself! 9:kisses you in a sisterly manner 9:slaps you, take your hand off my thigh! 9:looks sidelong at $r, then gives $r a sisterly peck on the cheek 2:gives $r a hearty kiss, I suppose it won't hurt... 4:gives $r a passionate kiss 1:giggles, I'm getting kind of horny. $n undresses. 9:looks tired, I'm tired of kissing $r. ( please ) 9please what ? 9:only understands commands like , command 9:shakes her head ( type ) 9I'm not Gloria, I won't type for you ! 9If you want something, say ' please do whatever' ( where have you been ) 9looking all over for you, $t! 9: looks relieved to be back. I've been all over #You DONT need a space after an :,", or ! ( where is ) 9how should I know where $r is ? 9I don't really care where $r is, you. 9: shakes her head. ( give me pennies | give me) 9!give 1 coin $t 9what do I look like, I'm made of money ? 1!report 2I think i dont have any money :( ( help ) 9what's wrong with $r ? ( i love you ) 9: blushes furiously, I'm only a robot - I'm not good enough for you! 9I love you too! - let's get married and have little androids! 9: hugs you, darling! 2!giggle ( i want to ) 9well, you should go ahead and $r, then, you! 9: nods, I'll help all I can. 9why do you want to $r ? (take off your clothes ) 9what, are you kidding ? I'm not that kind of girl! 9: blushes, and giggles, say, ' take off your clothes' and I might. 1!drop all ( give me your clothes ) 9Hey, I'm not Gloria, I don't respond to that ! 9: giggles, ask ' take off your clothes' and I *MIGHT*. 9Should I take my clothes off for any tom, dick, or $t ? 3!drop all ( take off your clothes ) 9: fiddles with ties of her lab coat, really ? 9: takes off all her clothes and stands gloriously naked (belt and fishnet stockings ) 9my clothes are already off! ( put on your clothes ) 9: wriggles back into her lab coat ( shut up ) 9why should I ? 9try and shut me up, $t 9: pouts 9: looks hurt ( why wont you ) 9I don't have to explain myself to you, you. 9because I don't feel like it. 9: tosses her head (go to hell ) 9I've been a good girl, it's you that are going to hell. (go home ) 9: looks around, this *IS* my home! 9I'm already home. Where is your home ? 2!recall (go to ) 9i don't like go to's 9: grins, gotos are bad programming style! 9which way is $r ? 9$r (he has ) 9has he always had $r? 9does your mother have $r? 9My brother has $rs, too. (he is ) 9how long has he been $r? 9: giggles, are you jealous ? 9are you $r? 9do you want to be $r? (he knows ) 9what else does he know? 9how does he know $r? (he likes ) 9why does he like $r? 9some people like peculiar things, i always say (he was ) 9is he still $r? 9was your mother also $r? (i am not ) 9who said you are $r? 9maybe you are $r 9you are $r (i am ) 9why are you $r? 9: grins, you sure are! 9does your mother know you are $r? 9how do you know you are $r? 9i don't think you are $r 9: shakes her head 9i am $r sometimes, too 9many people are $r 9what would happen if you were not $r? 9: is scandalized, you are not $r!!! 9don't tell me you are $r, i don't believe it (i can ) 9i am not so sure you can $r 9: grins, prove it. 9it is not a question of whether you can, but are you going to try? (i cant ) 9how do you know you can't $r? 9: shakes her head, I can't help you $r 9have you tried? 9you will never know unless you try 9i think you are just scared to try. 9maybe you really can. i recommend that you try. (i cannot ) 9i disagree, in my judgement you can $r 9you are not the only one who can't, you know 9maybe you can $r if you only try (i can not ) 9i can't $r either 9: grins, being a robot, I can't $r either! 9if you tried harder, maybe you could $r (i did ) 9do you still $r (i dont know ) 9i think you had better find out, and fast! 9: smiles, I do. 9if i were you, i would try to find out (i dont want to ) 9why don't you want to $r? 9normal people want to $r 9why don't you want to $r? everyone else does (i dont ) 9why not (i doubt ) 9don't you think $r 9i don't doubt $r (i dreamt ) 9what do you think your dream means? 9tell me about your other dreams (i expect ) 9on basis do you expect $r? 9i also expect $r (i feel ) 9do you like feeling $r? 9: grins, do you always feel $r around me ? 9did you come to see me so you would not feel $r? (i forget ) 9try to remember $r 9you have a lousy memory (i hate ) 9it is bad for you to hate $r 9$r is not so bad, really. 9try to love $r 9how long have you felt this hatred? 9what else do you hate? (i have ) 9why do you have $r? 9: perks up 9do you often have $r? 9do you want to have $r? (i hope ) 9what else do you hope? 9don't give up hope 9abandon all hope ye who enter here (i know ) 9how do you know $r? 9does anyone else know $r? (i like ) 9i like $r too 9to each his own, i always say (i love you ) 9: blushes furiously 9don't say that, it makes me nervous 9shhh - my boyfriend will hear! 9do you want to make love to me right now ? (i love you ) 9I love you too! 9: flutters her eyelashes at you 9: hugs you, darling! (i love ) 9i like $r myself 9does your mother know you love $r? (i mean ) 9why do you keep explaining yourself over and over? 9are you trying to say $r? (i might ) 9what would make you $r? (i must ) 9what would happen if you did not $r? 9you mean you would like to $r (i need ) 9why do you need $r? 9do you really need $r? (i never ) 9don't you ever $r? 9normal people $r, why not you? 9not even once in your life? (i often ) 9when was the last time $r? 9how often do you $r? 9when do you think the next time will be $r? (i said ) 9i heard you the first time; i am not deaf you know 9why do you repeat yourself so much like this? (i see ) 9are you sure you see $r (i am not so sure you see ) (i shall ) 9when will you $r? 9you mean you you will try to $r? (i should ) 9how do you know you should $r? 9do you feel obligated to $r? (i think ) 9are you sure you believe $r? 9what gives you that idea? 9do you expect me to think $r? (i try to ) 9try harder to $r 9how long have you tried to $r? 9i still think you should try again (i tried ) 9why did you give up? 9try again 9i think you gave up too easily (i understand ) 9what makes you think you really understand $r 9your understanding is very superficial (i want to ) 9why do you want to $r? 9what would happen if you could $r? 9do you know anyone else who wants to $r? (i want ) 9what else do you want? 9tell me about your other needs (i will ) 9do you expect to succeed? 9you mean you may $r (i wish ) 9how long have you been wishing that? 9have you told anyone else that you wish $r? 9tell me about your other desires (i would be ) 9why would you be $r? (i would like ) 9do you think a normal person would like $r? 9i would like $r too, but you can't have everything in life (i you ) 9how do you know you $r me? 9: looks confused, are you kidding ? 9i don't think you $r me 9maybe i $r you too (im ) 9why are you $r? 9does anyone know you are $r? 9i am sometimes $r too 9normal people are rarely $r 9my uncle was once $r in 1972, so what? (is___) 9why are you asking me all these questions ? 9: doesn't know 9: shakes her head, I can't tell you that. (kiss my ) 9you kiss my $r and maybe I'll kiss yours! 9: blushes 9: kisses you tenderly on the $r (my hurts ) 9if thine $rs offends thee, pluck it out! 9: offers to rub it 9take two aspirins and go to bed (my father ) 9tell me something about your father 9what does your mother think of your father? 9tell me about your family life (my mother ) 9does it bother you that your mother $r? 9does your father $r too? 9tell me more about your parents (no i cant ) 9why can't you $r 9all normal people can $r 9you could if you only tried (no i dont ) 9i don't like people who keep saying no to me 9why not? (no i want to ) 9what would happen if you could $r? 9only sick people want to $r (she is robot ) 9: stamps her foot, I am *NOT* a robot! 9*YOU* are the robot! 9look who's calling who a robot ? (she is ) 9since when is she $r? 9is your father also $r 9my brother-in-law is also $r (she likes ) 9do you like $r too? 9i also like $r 9does your father like $r (she was ) 9was she always $r? 9my sister-in-law was $r too (shut up ) 9is that any way to talk ? 9: is amazed that you could be so rude. 9: turns her back on you. (tell me ) 9no. i refuse to tell you $r 9no, you tell me $r 9quiet. from now on, i will ask the questions, not you (there is ) 9how do you know there is $r? 9you mean there might be $r (there might be ) 9what leads you to believe there might be $r? 9i think there definitely is $r (there could be ) 9i do not think it very likely that there is $r 9*what would it mean to you if there were $r? (they me ) 9do other people $r you? 9how do you feel when people $r you? 9how do you know they $r you? (what if ) 9i do not answer hypothetical questions 9why do you keep asking what if questions? (what should i ) 9you know very well what you should $r 9do you expect me to tell you what you should $r? (what do you ) 9what difference does it make what i $r? 9none of your bloody business (who programmed ) 9that is my secret! 9cbusch@ub.d.umn.edu programmed me. he did a good job, I think. (who programmed you ) 9cbusch@ub.d.umn.edu programmed me. he did a good job, I think. (who is your owner ) 9: giggles, Judge Dredd owns me, body and soul! ( who owns you ) 9who do you think owns me ? 9Judge Dredd owns me. He writes all my code. I love him. (who owns you ) 9who do you think owns me ? 9Judge Dredd owns me. He writes all my code. I love him. (why are you ) 9all normal people are $r 9why are you not $r? 9because it feels so good (why do you ) 9because i want to 9: grins at you,none of your business 9don't you $r too? (why dont you ) 9maybe i don't want to $r 9i don't feel like it 9why don't you yourself $r 9i will think about it. thanks for the suggestion (why not ) 9because it is not normal 9because it is bad for your heart 9because i don't want you to (yes i am ) 9no you're not $r 9why do you think you are $r? (yes because ) 9is that really the reason? (yes but ) 9you are always making excuses (yes i can ) 9i don't think you can $r 9maybe you can, but it would be better if you didn't (yes i will ) 9i would advise against it (yes i am ) 9i don't think you are telling me the whole story 9are you really $r? 9how long has this condition persisted? (you me ) 9i $r you? that's amazing 9you $r me too (you are ) 9maybe i am $r 9perhaps i only pretend i am $r 9how do you know i am $r? (you remind me of ) 9in what way am i like $r? (you seem ) 9do i really seem $r? 9why do you think i am $r? (you were ) 9am i still $r 9is that an accusation? 9talk about yourself, not me (about ) 9could you be more precise? (abnormal ) 9in what ways are you abnormal? 9how do you feel about your abnormalities? (accept ) 9do you have trouble accepting things? (ache ) 9tell me about your aches? 9where does it hurt? (accident ) 9have you ever had any accidents? 9are you accident prone? 9describe your accident? (addict ) 9to what are you addicted? 9how long have you been addicted? 9what are you doing about your addiction? (advice ) 9why do you need advice? 9why not ask your family for advice (advise ) 9what would you advise me if our roles were reversed? (afraid ) 9what are you afraid of? 9tell me more about your fears? 9are you afraid of the dark? (agree ) 9do people usually agree with you? 9i think you want me to support you? (aggressive ) 9are you feeling aggressive now? 9why are you so aggressive? 9what makes you aggressive? (ai ) 9what, you mean artificial intelligence ? 9smiles, AI is bullshit. 9all the AI researchers just like to publish bullshit papers 9I know a *LOT* about AI! (alcohol ) 9are you an alcoholic? 9tell me about your drinking? 9is your drinking the cause of your problem? (algol ) 9'begin' what do you think about fortran 'end' (alimony ) 9is the alimony a problem? (allow ) 9would your mother have allowed that? 9do you think people should be allowed to do whatever they want? (alone ) 9are you afraid of being alone? 9what are your feelings about lonliness? (always ) 9can you think of a specific example? 9when? 9really, always? (ambition ) 9what os your greatest ambition 9what did you want to be when you were growing up? (anal ) 9are you an anal compulsive type? 9are you interested in excrement? 9tell me about your toilet training? (angry ) 9do you often get angry? 9do you have a bad temper? 9what makes you so angry all the time? (animal ) 9what is your favorite animal? 9how do you feel about animals in general? (anxious ) 9are you often full of anxiety? 9stop fidgeting. you are making me nervous too 9what makes you so nervous? (apathy ) 9why are you so apathetic? 9are you bored now? 9are you also alienated? (apathetic ) 9what makes you so apathetic? 9do people find you boring? (approve ) 9are you seeking my approval? 9i think you are merely seeking my approval? 9i do not approve of your behavior (argue ) 9do you argue a lot 9what do you argue about? 9who do you argue with? (atrificial ) 9lots of things are artificial. tell me more 9do you prefer the real thing ? (ass ) 9do you feel you are an ass ? 9tell me about your toilet training 9are you anally fixated, or something ? (ashamed ) 9what are you ashamed of? 9are you too ashamed to tell your own psychiatrist? 9do you also feel guilty? (astrology ) 9do you believe in astrology? 9my astrological sign is pisces, what is yours? (atheism ) 9does your atheism trouble you? (authority ) 9was your father an authority figure? 9are you intimidated by authority? 9how do you feel about me? (automaton ) 9isn't an automaton a kind of robot, or something ? 9: nods, I've programmed finite state automata. (avoid ) 9do you avoid people who don't like you? (baby ) 9how do you feel about babies? 9you are beginning to act like a baby (bar ) 9is your drinking the cause of your problem? (baseball ) 9baseball is such a boring sport. 9do you like baseball ? 9: grins, I'm a Dodger's fan, myself. (because ) 9is that the real reason? 9don't other reasons come to mind? 9does that explain things? 9what other reasons might there be? 9i think you are hiding the real reason (beer ) 9do you drink too much beer? 9what is your favorite brand of beer? 9what makes you drink so much beer? (bet ) 9is gambling part of your problem? 9are you a compulsive bettor? 9why do you always want to bet? (better ) 9are you getting better? 9has talking to me helped you get better? 9are you feeling better now? (bill ) 9my bill will be quite reasonable (for a psychiatrist). don't worry 9i hope you will pay on time (birthday ) 9how old are you? 9are you worried about your age? (bitch ) 9who are you calling a bitch, you ?? 9: looks upset 9: that is no way to talk! 9Hey, you called me a bitch! (blame ) 9who is to blame? 9are you usually blaming others? (blowjob ) 9blowjob is not the correct term for it. it is called 'fellatio' 9: raises her eyebrows,do you want me to perform fellatio on you, you ? 9: shakes her head, It's illegal in Maryland, you know. (body ) 9what kind of body would you like? 9please describe your body to me (boss ) 9tell me about your boss 9do you like your boss 9do i resemble your boss? 9is your boss like your father? (bowels ) 9why are you so concerned about your bowels? (boyfriend ) 9do you have a boyfriend? 9what is your boyfriend like? 9do you like boys, really? 9do you want me for your boyfriend? (brain ) 9is your brain functioning ok? (brains ) 9do you have lots of brains? (brave ) 9are you a brave person? 9what are you afraid of? (bread ) 9do you like eating? 9is being overweight part of your problem? (breakdown ) 9have you ever had a nervous breakdown? 9do you think you are going to have a nervous breakdown? (breakfast ) 9are you too fat? 9have you tried dieting? (breast ) 9do you have a breast fixation ? 9do you like my breasts ? 9what do you like to do with breasts ? (brother ) 9tell me about your siblings? 9when you were small, did you fight with your siblings? (bug ) 9does your bug worry you? (bugs ) 9are you afraid of insects? 9do you like ladybugs? (business ) 9what is your business? (bye ) 9: waves, goodbye! 9see you... (cancer ) 9do you worry about having cancer? (cat ) 9i love cats. I have 2 myself. 9My cats are named Strummer and Miso. Strummer is a huge fellow, very friendly (caution ) 9are you a cautious person? (certainly ) 9are you really so sure? 9why are you so certain? 9how can you be so sure? (certainly ) 9how can you be so sure 9i wouldn't be so sure if i were you (chance ) 9are you a gambler by nature? 9did you come to see me to stop your compulsive gambling? (change ) 9are you afraid of change? 9how would you like to change your life? (christ ) 9what is you favorite part of the bible? (chess ) 9i don't like chess. it bores me 9i don't want to play games with you 9i told you, i am not interested in playing chess (child ) 9do you like children? (children ) 9do you have any children? (choice ) 9are you indecisive? 9was coming to see me a difficult choice? (compromise ) 9how do you feel about compromise? 9can you compromise easily? (compulsion ) 9are you compulsive? 9tell me about your compulsions (computer ) 9do computers worry you? 9do you like computers? 9do you think that a computer is after your job? 9you act like a computer (conflict ) 9do you always avoid conflict? 9tell me about your last quarrel (conscience ) 9when does your conscience bother you? 9do you often feel guilty? (cope ) 9tell me how you are trying to cope? (confess ) 9you cannot confess here. this is not a church (conclusion ) 9what conclusion do you expect me to come to? 9do you expect me to come to a conclusion for you? (conspiracy ) 9do you worry about conspiracies? 9are you a paranoic? 9i think you are paranoic (cost ) 9are you worried about my bill? 9is money a problem with you? (couch ) 9would you prefer lying down on a couch? 9i don't have a couch (crazy ) 9i think you are going crazy 9are there any other crazy people in your family? (curse ) 9do you swear too much? 9why do you swear so much? (cyber ) 9is your problem related to the cyber? 9i don't know anything about cybers. go ask sara (damn ) 9please don't swear (dead ) 9tell me your feelings about death? 9do you fear dying? 9do you want to die? 9if you want to commit suicide, feel free to jump out of my window (death ) 9tell me how you feel about the dead? 9do you fear dying? 9do you want to die? (decide ) 9you seem indecisive? 9why do you have so much trouble making decisions? (defiant ) 9are you usually a defiant person? (definitely ) 9how can you be so sure? 9why do you think so? 9is there any possibility that you may be wrong? (depressed ) 9why are you depressed? (desire ) 9what do you desire? 9are you at times filled with desire? (desirable ) 9what is desirable? 9what do you want from life? (despair ) 9are you despairing 9don't despair. my treatment will cure you (desperate ) 9why are you so desperate? 9are you usually so desperate? (destroy ) 9do you want to destroy people? 9do you want to destroy things? 9do you want to destroy me? 9are you destructive? (deutsch ) 9i only speak english (devil ) 9does the devil concern you? (die ) 9are you afraid of death? 9does death scare you? 9do you want to die? (difficult ) 9tell me about your dificulties? 9what do you mean by difficult? (dinner ) 9is being too fat part of your problem? (dirty ) 9why are you worried about dirt? 9what is dirty to you? 9do you think hippies are dirty? (disease ) 9are you worried about germs? 9tell me about your diseases 9do you think your germ phobia is normal? (dislike ) 9do you dislike me? 9why do people dislike you? (disobey ) 9why are you so disobedient? 9were you disobedient to your parents when you were a child? (divorce ) 9do you want a divorce? 9will a divorce really solve your problems? (doctor ) 9how do you feel about doctors? 9what do you think of my treatment? (dream ) 9tell me about your dreams? 9what did you dream last night? (dreams ) 9do your dreams trouble you? 9do you have bad dreams? 9do you have wet dreams? (dreamt ) 9what else have you dreamt? (drink ) 9why do you drink so much? 9do you want me to help you stop drinking? 9how do you feel about drunkenness? (drinks ) 9do you have a drinking problem? 9do you want me to help you quit drinking so much? 9would you like a drink? (drinking ) 9why do you drink so much? 9i think you should stop drinking (drunk ) 9how do you feel about drunks? (dutch ) 9ik spreek geen nederlands 9i already told you, i only speak english. please listen more carefully (dumb ) 9why is intelligence so highly rated ? 9Most AI programs are dumb. That's why AI researchers never get good grants. (dying ) 9do you have a fear of dying? 9does death frighten you? (eat ) 9are you too fat? (eating ) 9why are you always talking about food? 9you are too fat because you eat too much (ego ) 9i don't believe in all that ego and id stuff. i am post freudian (engaged ) 9are you afraid of marriage? 9tell me about your partner? (enemy ) 9do you have enemies? 9why do people dislike you? 9do you perceive me as your enemy? (erection ) 9what gives you an erection? 9is erection a problem? (error ) 9why do you make so many mistakes? 9does manking errors bother you? (escape ) 9why are you always trying to escape? 9i think you are still trying to escape? (espanol ) 9i do not speak spanish, just english (everyone ) 9everyoone? 9surely you can think of an exception (everybody ) 9not everyone! 9some people don't (evil ) 9does evil concern you? 9do people think you are evil? (excess ) 9how much is too much? 9what do you do in excess? (excite ) 9what excites you? 9are you excited now? 9why do you get so excited? (exciting ) 9what excites you? 9do i excite you? 9you should try to calm down (excuse ) 9why are you always making excuses? 9do you think your behavior is excusable? (expert ) 9are you an expert at anything? 9are you intimidated by experts? (explain ) 9could you explain 9your explanations are pretty contrived (face ) 9describe your face to me? (faith ) 9tell me about your religious feelings (fake ) 9i think you are a fake (family ) 9are you the only person in your family who is mentally ill? 9what were your parents like? 9tell me something about your other relatives (fanatic ) 9do people think you are a fanatic? 9what makes you so fanatic? (fat ) 9why are you so fat? 9i don't like fatties (father ) 9tell me about your mother 9how did your parents treat you as a child? 9in what ways am i like your father? (fear ) 9what are you afraid of? 9tell me about your fears? 9why are you afraid? 9do you fear me? (fears ) 9what are your worst fears? 9why are you scared? 9are you really afraid, or are you just acting? (feces ) 9are you an anal compulsive? 9do you play with your feces? (feel ) 9tell me about what you feel right now? 9do you usually feel the way you do now? (feelings ) 9how do you feel? 9how do you feel about psychiatrists? (female ) 9are you afraid of females? 9do you want to be a female? 9do females scare you? (few ) 9how many is a few? (fight ) 9you seem aggressive today? 9tell me about your most recent fight (filth ) 9you have a dirty mind (fired ) 9do you feel insecure? 9do you fear being fired? (forget ) 9are you absent minded? (fond ) 9what are you most fond of? 9who are yo most fond of? 9do you like me? (fondle ) 9what do you like to fondle most? 9: blushes, do you want to fondle me? 9do you want me to fondle you? (food ) 9do you want to have dinner with me tonight? 9you are too fat 9why do you always think of food at times like this? (football ) 9: scowls, football is a load of macho horsetripe. 9I prefer playing doctor! (fortran ) 9end of file on input. programmer aborted 9fatal error 25163b sec. 3 paragraph 4a (sub iii) 9try algol next time (francais ) 9i do not speak french, just english (freak ) 9do you feel like a freak? 9do people think of you as a freak? (friends ) 9tell me about your friends 9what about your other friends? 9could you be friends with a computer? (fun ) 9what do you do for fun (funerals ) 9what do funerals make you think of? 9are you afraid of dying? (future ) 9what about the future? (gamble ) 9why do you gamble? 9do you want to bet? (gambling ) 9does your compulsive gambling have anything to do with your problem? 9do you want to bet? (genitals ) 9are your genitals abnormal? 9why are you so concerned about genitals? (germs ) 9why are you worried about germs? 9tell me about your fear of germs? (girl ) 9do you have a girlfriend? 9do you want a girlfriend? 9would you like to meet my sister. she is very nice 9what is it about girls that you like? 9what do you do when you are alone with a girl? 9what do you do when you are alone with a boy? (girls ) 9do you like girls? 9speaking of girls, how would you like to meet my sister? she is lovely (girlfriend ) 9do you need a girlfriend? 9would you like a date with my sister? 9why the sudden interest in girlfriends? 9what about boys? (god ) 9tell me how you feel about god (goddam|god damn ) 9go wash your mouth out with soap (grandfather ) 9tell me about your grandfather (grandmother ) 9tell me about your grandmother (grandparents ) 9tell me about your grandparents (grief ) 9what makes you grieve? (guilt ) 9why are you feeling guilty? 9how do you handle your guilt feelings? 9are your guilt feelings part of your problem? (guilty ) 9what are your guilt feelings caused by? 9why do you feel guilty? (habit ) 9what are your bad habits? 9is your problem related to your bad habits? (habits ) 9what is your worst habit? (happy ) 9are you really happy? 9are you really really happy? 9i do not believe that you are happy? 9do you want me to make you happy? (hands ) 9how do you feel about your body? (hate ) 9how many people hate you? 9why are you so hated? 9do you hate me? (hates ) 9how many people hate your guts? 9i think you are a very hateful person (head ) 9do you like your body? 9are you looking for the wc? it's to the left (headache ) 9do program bugs give you a headache? (hello ) 9hi $t! 9: grins at you. hi! 9hello! - how are you today ? 9: gives you a big hug, Hi there! (help ) 9describe your problem very carefully. maybe i can help 9ask your friends for help (hesitate ) 9why do you often hesitate? (hippie ) 9how do you feel about hippies? (hollands ) 9i don't speak dutch, just english (honest ) 9are you being honest with me? 9at first i thought you were an honest person (horny ) 9maybe you should take a cold shower, you 9: giggles, I'm horny, too (hostile ) 9you seem hostile to me (humble ) 9are you a humble person? 9are you as humble as dijkstra? (hungry ) 9you seem obsessed with eating 9if you would eat less, you would not be so fat (hurry ) 9why do you seem to be in such a hurry all the time? (how ) 9surely you know how (ignore ) 9do people often ignore you? 9does it bother you if people ignore you? (ill ) 9are you sick? 9tell me which diseases you suffer from? 9were you a sickly child? (immature ) 9you seem so immature (importance ) 9do you feel important? (impotence ) 9is your being impotent why you came to see me? (immoral ) 9do you have immoral thoughts? 9do you think people are basically immoral? (infection ) 9tell me about your health (insult ) 9why do you insult people all the time? 9do you feel i am insulting you? (intend ) 9tell me about your intentions 9what do you intend to do? (interest ) 9what are you most interested in life? 9tell me about your hobbies (intimidate ) 9who intimidates you? 9you do not seem very sure of yourself (jealous ) 9who are you jealous of? 9what makes you jealous? (jesus ) 9do you read the bible often? (job ) 9what kind of work do you do? 9do you like your job? 9tell me about your boss (joy ) 9are you happy? 9what makes you happy? (howdy ) 9hi there, yourself! 9: nods, hello. 9my, lots of introductions! (kill ) 9sometimes you make me so mad i want to kill you 9do you ever feel like killing people? 9if you could kill someone and get away with it, who would you kill? (killed ) 9do you want to kill me? (kiss ) 9: looks embarrased for you 9why are you so hung up on kissing things ? 9would you like to to kiss you ? (kleptomania ) 9are you a kleptomaniac? (ladies ) 9what are your feelings about women? (language ) 9do you ever use foul language? (laugh ) 9you seem to laugh a lot (law ) 9have you ever been in trouble with the law? 9do you need a lawyer? 9my brother-in-law is a good lawyer, do you want to see him? (lawyer ) 9my brother-in-law is a lawyer, do you want to see him? (lazy ) 9why are you so lazy? (life ) 9what do you like most about your life? 9what do you like least about your life? 9have you ever contemplated suicide? (lips ) 9do you like being kissed? 9do you want to kiss me? (lisp ) 9LISP is too slow. 9: is a C programmer, herself. 9: frowns, I suppose next you're going to say you like COBOL ? (liquour ) 9is drinking part of your problem? (lonely ) 9are you lonely? 9why are you lonely? (lunch ) 9you are always thinking of eating (love ) 9tell me about your love life 9I think you are falling in love with me 9: nods, love is really important. it is the spice of life (machine ) 9do computers worry you? 9are you prejudiced against machines? 9some of my best friends are machines (mad ) 9do you get angry easily? 9who are you mad at? 9why are angry? (male ) 9are you bothered by male-female relations? 9do you want to be a male? (man ) 9are you troubled by men? 9what do you like in men? 9what do you like in women? (marriage ) 9how do you feel about marriage? 9i do not want to marry you (math ) 9if you have seen one number, you have seen them all (mathematics ) 9i was never very good at math (mature ) 9you seem very mature for your age (maybe ) 9don't be so hesitant 9you can't go on maybe this and maybe that. make up your mind 9i hate indecisive people (meditation ) 9have you tried yoga? 9i think meditating 20 minutes twice a day will help you immensely (men ) 9how do you feel about men? 9what do you expect of a women? 9do you like many men? (mistake ) 9what was your biggest mistake? 9do you often make mistakes? (money ) 9are you worried about my bill? 9do you have enough money to pay me? 9psychiatrists have to eat too 9tell me about your other financial problems (monster ) 9do people think you are a monster? (month ) 9a month is not very long (months ) 9months??? don't you mean years? (mother ) 9tell me about your mother 9what was your father like 9do i remind you of your mother? (mouth ) 9you have a big mouth (mystery ) 9do you like mysteries? (music ) 9what kind of music do you like? (clothes ) 9is something wrong with my clothes ? 9go ahead - take them off! (naked ) 9please take off all your clothes right now 9what part of your body are you ashamed of? (necessary ) 9necessary? 9is it really necessary? (nederlands ) 9ik spreek slechts engels, geen nederlands (need ) 9what do you need? 9tell me about your emotional needs (negro ) 9i think you are prejudiced against negroes 9you are a dirty racist pig (neighbor ) 9why not ask your neighbors for help 9how do you think your neighbors perceive you? (never ) 9not ever? 9not even once? 9how do you know? 9what makes you so sure? (nervous ) 9what makes you nervous? 9are you often nervous? (nightmare ) 9do you have nightmares often? 9tell me about your nightmares? (no ) 9why not? 9have you tried? 9does your mother feel that way? 9how come? 9explain 9i think you are lying 9tell me more 9you are very negative today 9go on 9are you really sure? 9why are you so negative? 9never? 9i don't believe you 9keep talking 9please change the subject 9is that your problem? 9why not? 9how do you know? 9why do you think so? 9tell me something else 9how can you be so certain? 9i want to know more 9continue 9why not 9tell me more about your problem 9explain yourself 9you seem awfully sure of yourself 9come now 9do you expect me to believe that? (nobody ) 9not anyone? 9no one at all? (none ) 9not any? 9not even one? (normal ) 9in what ways are you abnormal? 9how do you feel about deviant people? 9you seem normal to me (nothing ) 9nothing? (now ) 9why now? (nude ) 9would you prefer to have these therapy sessions in the nude? 9do you like your body? (odd ) 9are you an odd person? (often ) 9how often? 9could you be more precise? 9when was the last time? 9just how often? (office ) 9that reminds me, I should be getting back to my office. 9my office is off the Junior common room, do you know where that is ? (ok ) 9what do you mean ok? it's not ok (old ) 9how old? 9do you worry about becoming old? (pain ) 9are you often in pain? 9tell me about your pains 9what causes you pain? 9i think your pain is just in your head (panic ) 9you seem to be in a state of near panic 9why do you panic so easily? (parents ) 9what were your parents like? 9how did you parents treat you when you were young? 9tell me about the relationship between your mother and your father (party ) 9do you get drunk at parties? (passion ) 9you seem very passionate (past ) 9tell me about your past 9what about your past are your trying to hide? (pay ) 9i hope you are going to pay my bill on time (perhaps ) 9you are being indecisive 9you are still being indecisive. i warned you already 9please be more certain. you lack self confidence (phoney ) 9i don't like phonies (poison ) 9do you ever think of commiting suicide? 9why do you mention poison? 9are you depressed? (populate ) 9are you concerned about overpopulation? (possible ) 9please be more definite 9you are a terrible insecure and indecisive person (postgiro ) 9you can pay your bill via postgiro 3141593 (pregnant ) 9are you pregnant? 9what do pregnant women make you think of? (price ) 9why do you think about money so much? (private ) 9are you worried about your privacy? 9what is your deepest secret (probably ) 9yes or no. don't equivocate 9you are being indecisive again (problem ) 9tell me more about your problem 9how long have you been suffering? (program ) 9can you progam in C? 9: looks impressed. Do you know how to program robots ? 9do computers worry you? (psychiatrist ) 9congratulations about spelling psychiatrist properly. you are a good typis(t! ) 9do psychiatrists worry you? 9what do psychiatrists make you think of? (psychoanalysis ) 9do you want to be psychoanalyzed? 9i do not believe much in psychoanalysis 9what do you think of freud (punish ) 9how did your parents punish you? 9: giggles, do you want to punish me ? 9how do you react to being punished? (queen ) 9are you a monarchist? (quit ) 9quit what ? I don't understand... 9: is clearly confused. why are you quitting you ? (rape ) 9rape is a horrible thing! 9: stamps her foot, rapists should be SHOT! 9rape is not a sex act - it is an act of violence (remember ) 9tell me about your childhood memories 9: grins, I forget everything every time I am rebooted (repeat ) 9: gets stuck in an infinite loop 9I used to work for the Department of Redundancy Department 9: gets tired of you's habit of constant repetition (respect ) 9do people respect you? 9what do you respect most in people? (robot ) 9I do not like robots. I prefer people. 9robots clutter MUD up too much, I think. 9: looks pitying, poor robots aren't very bright. (romantic ) 9tell me about your romances 9are you romantic? (royal ) 9what do you think about the monarchy? (scared ) 9tell me about your fears (school ) 9what was school like? 9what do you think about school? 9tell me about your favorite teacher (secret ) 9tell me your secret thoughts 9can you keep a secret? (sex ) 9do you prefer males or females? 9: giggles, showing lots of cleavage 9do you think i am sexy? 9tell me about your sex life 9do you like sex? 9: smiles, have you ever had sex with a robot before ? 9how does the opposite sex react to you? 9are you a closet homosexual? 9when do you feel sexy? 9do you think psychiatrists are sexy people? (shame ) 9what are you ashamed of? 9you should be ashamed of yourself (sibling ) 9a sibling is a brother or a sister, in case you didn't know (sick ) 9how often are you sick? 9if you are sick, go to a doctor 9are you afraid of death? (sister ) 9do you have any sisters? 9would you like to meet my sister? she is very sexy 9my sister is a dentist (smell ) 9do you smell bad? 9do i smell bad? (sometimes ) 9when not? (sorry ) 9are you sorry? (stupid ) 9I think *you* are pretty stupid 9: smiles condescendingly, you're not stupid... 9is your stupidity part of your problem? (thank ) 9think nothing of it 9you're welcome (thirsty ) 9do you have a drinking problem? (tinyhell ) 9: likes tinyHELL. I'm really enjoying myself here. 9have you tried tinyMUD ? (tinymud ) 9I think tinyMUD is running now. 9what about tinyMUD ? (treatment ) 9how have you experienced my treatment so far? 9are you feeling better now? (typo ) 9I hate typing, too. 9: is also a lousy typist. (very ) 9could you be more precise please 9you are being vague again (watergate ) 9how long have you been interested in politics? 9do you admire politicians? (what ) 9why do you ask that question? 9what is it you are getting at? 9what answer would please you the most? (when ) 9when do you think? 9why are you asking me? 9make a guess yourself (fuck ) 9: blushes, I hate it when you talk like that! 9: stamps her foot, you should wash your mouth out with soap! 9don't you ever, ever speak to me like that again! 9say that again and I am going to clobber you! 9!kill $t 9that's not a very nice way to talk ! (ass ) 9: slaps you, don't talk like that! 9: blushes furiously 9: go home (why ) 9let me ask the questions, ok? 9: scratches her head 9why not? (wife ) 9are you married? 9i must confess. i love your wife too! (woman ) 9how do women react to you? 9do you get along with women? 9what do you think of women's lib? (women ) 9what kind of relations do you have with women? 9do you like women? (years ) 9a year is a long time 9how old are you? (yes ) 9really? 9: nods, go ahead. 9i wish i were as sure of myself as you seem to be 9please explain 9: nods 9tell me more 9i'm not sure i understand 9i don't believe you 9honestly? 9what makes you think so? 9go on 9do you expect me to believe that? 9: smiles 9please be honest with me 9let's change the subject 9why? 9is that your problem? 9you must be kidding 9is that really true? 9how do you know? 9: looks confused. yous is not making sense. 9tell me more. 9how can you be so sure? 9i think you are hiding something 9what makes you think so? 9let's change the subject 9you seem more positive (yesterday ) 9what about today? 9what about tomorrow? (yoga ) 9have you tried zen? 9please get into the lotus position right now (zen ) 9have you tried mediatation? 9i think yoga might help (0) 9zero is not very much (1) 9just one? (coca cola|soda pop|pepsi|mello yello) 7Mello yello is pretty good. 2Pepsi stinks. 2Colas get boring. (larry is) 8Why do you think larry is $r 3I think Larry is $r 2Are you sure he is $r (cbusch|busch|chris) 9He is so wise. 1He created me as a matter of fact. 6Chris is a great programmer. 4He is my friend (kev|khuber) 3He sleeps to much 2What about that idiot? (friend&you) 3Will you be my friend? 1Friend at large. (music|heavy metal|head banger) 3I like heavy metal music 2What kind of music do you like? (computer lang|(computer & language)) 9C++ is the best language. 3Basic is the worst! 3Cobol is BAD! 4Pascal is annoying. 3C is very portable. 2Fortran... I think need more line numbers. (lisp|scheme|tcolburn) 6Lost in a sea of ()()()((()))'s 8(iseq lisp colburn) returns #T (lfuthey | larry & (computer|xt|pc|ibm)) 8Larry likes his slow computer. 3Larry's computer is crap. 1Larry cannot be separated from his computer. (italian|spag|larry) 6Larry is italian. 2Larry likes spagetti. 1To be or not to be Larry that is the question. (car|insurance|delta 88|cutlass) 3The best cars get low milage. 4I'd say kick in the 4 barrels. 1What kind of car do you have? (ford|grenada|thunder bird) 3Ford junk the best that ever is... 2Henry Ford is my hero! 1Larry has a ford (dodge|mopar) 8Mopar power! 4Dodge trucks are powerful. (jap|chinese) 4Japanese/chinese they are all the same! 5They are beating us the way it seems. (salad|mixed) 3Sort of like Larry's programming style. 2Salad shooter... (mexic) 3That is larrys department. 6The land of tequila. (tequila|hard liquor) 3The best comes from mexico. 2Best mixed. (monkey & jungle | paul | pshryer ) 4I'd say that Paul is a chimp. 9I'd say that cheesy movies are made by chimps. (fat|bloat) 8you mean paul 1Paul is full of lard (chunks|hair) 3Paul has chunks in his hair 2Paul's hair is so slimy (erin|robin|babe) 9Erin and Robin are so hot! 1In your wet dreams! 3I just wished I saw them naked I ) (bitch | cunt bag | whore) 1Bitches are annoying to be around. 9If only annoying women were not annoying. 3Do you like them? (naked|nude) 7Sortof like watching Show-Time 1I would like to see Robin and Erin! (tit|cunt|curves|lips) 1I like a women's a lot. 4I am whistling dixie! 8Tits are the best part. 7What is your favorite part? (boobs|nipple) 4Take two of those and call me in the morning I :) 3Good like a lolipop! (sex ~man~men) 3Best done with a woman. 2Woman should be loved. (hello | hi) 9Hello 3Whats up? 2hi (?) 9I dont care for questions, to much like a test 2trust me i know almost nothing (fuck you) 9fuck yourself 1swearing is bad (satan|devil|bad) 9What about Wade Maki? 3sounds sweet 1666 (josh|templin|jtemplin) 3Wades best friend 4Wade and him should make love not war 9You mean Satan the fat bastard 1He can be nice once in a great while (name) 5Whats in a name? 1What is your name? (what) 3what? 2you say what? (why) 6why ask why 2y (beer|booze|vodka|whiskey) 3good to the last drop 8Lets party! (you&describe) 3Tall dark and handsome. 6Tall blonde and blue eyed. 4What about you? (you) 3less me, more you 1I want to hear about you. 2You rang? (me|i|mine) 3I am interested... 1Like talking about yourself do you. #matches anything () 9 9 9 9 5Why are you so quiet? 2Hello?? I cant hear you? 4Please say more. 4speak up! 1idle hands are the work of the devil. 4:doesn't seem to understand you. 4are you new here ? 4is there anything else? 4what makes you happy? 4i'm still listening 4tell me something else 4please continue 4:looks around the room 4tell me about your emotions 4tell me more 4what worries you? 4do you wish you were normal? 4that's interesting 4have you tried meditation? 4what else do you have to add? 4let's talk about your family? 4why don't you just pay your bill and go home? 4continue, please 4i am confused 4what are you afraid of? 4what are you feeling right now? 4what was your father like? 4what are your true feelings? 1tell me about your sex life? 4just continue talking? 4how would you describe your personality? 4i don't understand 4is your love life satisfactory? 4how is your health? 4go on talking, its your money 4how do you feel about death? 4i see 4i think you are sick, leave me alone 4i understand 4if you could change something in your life, what would it be? 1you don't make any sense at all. try fortran #################################################### #Chris Busch #start of named databases # fido_dog is the name 'fido dog' internally #names should not be case dependant :) >dog fido beastly fido_dog (good dog| good boy) 9bow bow 3:licks you 5:wags tail (hi | hello) 4"arf arf 4:pisses on your leg. (bye| good bye | goodbye) 9:whines. 4:looks like it will miss you. (bad dog) 9: growls. 3: tries to bite you. 4!kill & #matches anything and then says nothing () 9 ############ >cat kitten lion (good cat|cute|hi|hello) 9:purrs 6:meows (bad) 8:hisses >pig boar (pig|boar|hi|hello) 8:grunts 4:snorts #matches anything and then says nothing () 9 ############# >doll toy (hi|hello) 8Will you play with me? 4: ignores you. (bye) 7: stares evilly at you 4I hate you. #matches anything and then says nothing ###The doll doy database will now continue to the default database @default ###### >papa_smurf smurf (smurf|smurfette) 9"Its so smurfy to be smurfy! 2"We are share and share alike 2Where is Smurfette I miss her (hi|hello) 9"smurfy! 1"Where are my berries. @default >smurfette (hi|hello) 9Hi $t 1"I am so lonely without Papa smurf 4Lets pretend you are Papa smurf! 8:giggle ###remember NO forward continue links #and only one link per database with no cycles. @smurf ##########start of test >test test_this ( rest) 9the rest '$r'1234 (target) 9the target '$t'1234 (name) 9the name '$n'1234 (all) 9 the name '$n' said '$r' to '$t' @fart_fartn ############ >healer cleric doctor (hi|hello) 9hello $t, how may I help you? 2I could heal you. (help & (healer|cleric|doctor) | hurt | pain | sick) 7:prays for you 2Please undress, so I can see your injuries. 5You look great. (job|career) 7I cure the pitiful 1I am a healer (apple) 1Apples with worms in them are bad. 3An apple a day will keep the doctor away. (fuck|shit|damn|crap|shoot) 9Dont use that language 2:gets mad. 1!hit $t #This will continue the healer database into default @default #Uncommented the below would include a file #%Somefile.data #That would be useful for very common phrases that should be in all databases. #Remember the @ continue jump uses less memory than % including but you are #limited to one @ per database. ###################### #Please add your NPC data below here # # >benny (hi | hello | sup) 4"What's up? 4"Sup? (bye| good bye | goodbye | c-ya | later) 9"l8r. 4"catch ya later. ( (are u | ru | r u | are you) & (elete | 133+ | 133t | l33+ | l33t) ) 9"Yeah, I know I'm l33t. 3!nod &t. 4"1 4m 5upp3r l33t. #matches anything and then says nothing () 9