27 Jul, 2012, KaVir wrote in the 1st comment:
Votes: 0
Rarva.Riendf said:
When someone try to eat a stone, I prefer an
humourous message than [stone] is not of type [food].
or Huh, what ? (meaning that the player have to type help [isnert commande name here]
I sometimes provide those kind of messages, but for more technical commands like map.
And even then if you cannot see because there is no light, there is an humourous message as well.

By their very nature, text muds involve a lot of text, and some of it can end up being rather humorous - either intentionally or unintentionally. Here are some examples from my mud.

Players used to jokingly complain that when they typed 'help none' there was no help file, just the suggestion to once again type 'help none'. so I added the following help file for 'none':

"When the mud said 'Suggestions: none', it meant there were no suggestions. It didn't mean you should literally type 'help none', you fool."

Trying to send yourself a message with 'tell':

"You cannot tell yourself anything you don't already know."

Trying to sell something for 0 sp (this could technically switch to the 'give' command automatically, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't a typo):

"Selling for nothing is called 'giving' - try the give command."

Sometimes the messages are rather surreal, such as changing gender while shapechanged into a dragon:

"Male genitalia sprout between your rear legs as your mammary glands recede."

Other times, the combination of customisable shapechanging and form-specific body parts can result
in unexpected and amusing messages:

Zadmar the huge hellhound leans forward and tries to lick a beautiful dryad's bare breasts.
A beautiful dryad ignores the tongue.
(note that this is actually a lifedraining succubus kiss attack targeting the chest).

You rub your face in the filth and excrement coating your flawless skin. (applying disease to your weapons when you've got no arms)

You swallow your mouthful of wood, recovering one hundred health.

You strap a platinum codpiece of striking over your groin and buckle it up.
The platinum codpiece of striking begins to hum with energy.


What sort of humorous messages (intentional or not) do other muds have?
27 Jul, 2012, Lyanic wrote in the 2nd comment:
Votes: 0
KaVir said:
You rub your face in the filth and excrement coating your flawless skin. (applying disease to your weapons when you've got no arms)

I don't know why this one bugged me, but it did. Shouldn't it have a comma between excrement and coating? I had to read it several times to figure out what I assume is the intended meaning. Actually, you can get several different meanings from it, depending on where you place emphases and commas.
27 Jul, 2012, KaVir wrote in the 3rd comment:
Votes: 0
Lyanic said:
I don't know why this one bugged me, but it did. Shouldn't it have a comma between excrement and coating?

No, that would imply that you're coating your skin - your skin is already coated (rat fiend wings warp), the tech rubs your weapons in the coating. It's just that in this case the character has no arms, so their head is their main weapon.
27 Jul, 2012, Markov_AU wrote in the 4th comment:
Votes: 0
Why would a female dragon have mammaries?
27 Jul, 2012, arholly wrote in the 5th comment:
Votes: 0
Cuz she wants too?
27 Jul, 2012, KaVir wrote in the 6th comment:
Votes: 0
Markov_AU said:
Why would a female dragon have mammaries?

Interesting question. I guess it would depend on how they feed their young. I just needed something for the gender changing.
27 Jul, 2012, Lyanic wrote in the 7th comment:
Votes: 0
KaVir said:
Lyanic said:
I don't know why this one bugged me, but it did. Shouldn't it have a comma between excrement and coating?

No, that would imply that you're coating your skin - your skin is already coated (rat fiend wings warp), the tech rubs your weapons in the coating. It's just that in this case the character has no arms, so their head is their main weapon.

Ok, I got it now. That sentence just really has a LOT of meanings depending on emphasis/comma placement.
27 Jul, 2012, KaVir wrote in the 8th comment:
Votes: 0
Lyanic said:
Ok, I got it now. That sentence just really has a LOT of meanings depending on emphasis/comma placement.

The meaning could be changed if a comma was added, but without a comma I can only see one way of interpreting it. Of course it probably helps if you see the message in context:
> demonform
Your skin takes on an alien beauty, covered in a layer of filth and excrement.

>
Your lower body becomes a mass of writhing tentacles as you complete your transformation.

> look self
You look monstrous, with flawlessly perfect skin of alien beauty, a crown of vipers which writhe on your head, and a circular maw filled with rows of razor-sharp fangs. The yellow irises of your eyes swirl and churn like a desert sandstorm, while your flawless skin is crawling with bugs and covered with filth and excrement. Your upper body is smooth and armless like that of a serpent, while your lower body is a mass of writhing tentacles. A long black tail trails out behind you, tapering off to a serrated blade of white-hot steel.

> fw
You rub your face in the filth and excrement coating your flawless skin.
27 Jul, 2012, Runter wrote in the 9th comment:
Votes: 0
Actually, I was perplexed until now because I was reading it as lyanic was.

You rub your face in the filth and excrement coating your flawless skin.
28 Jul, 2012, Hades_Kane wrote in the 10th comment:
Votes: 0
'kill self' simply shows: 1-800-273-8255


As I run across more, I'll post them, I know I put some more in there :p
28 Jul, 2012, Ssolvarain wrote in the 11th comment:
Votes: 0
As a vampire you used to be able to bite yourself, which initiated combat… with yourself.

It was fixed to "Who do you think you are, Emris?"
29 Jul, 2012, Davion wrote in the 12th comment:
Votes: 0
Ssolvarain said:
As a vampire you used to be able to bite yourself, which initiated combat… with yourself.

It was fixed to "Who do you think you are, Emris?"


Merlin?
29 Jul, 2012, KaVir wrote in the 13th comment:
Votes: 0
Using the 'sloth' power on a dead target:

"{opponent} is already dead - you can't get any more slothful than that!"
02 Aug, 2012, Realmsofvalor wrote in the 14th comment:
Votes: 0
Whenever I am asked, I tell people my favorite command is 'hold clue'

>hold clue
You don't seem to have a clue.

My favorite command is actually:

>aggro all
You unleash a wave of awesome bloodlust!
A frost-bitten wight becomes aggressive!
A large ogre becomes aggressive!

Though I am also partial to:

>sent all
You command the lesser creatures to stand still!
A frost-bitten wight is now sentinel.
A large ogre is now sentinel.
03 Aug, 2012, Exodus wrote in the 15th comment:
Votes: 0
When abusing the command interpreter:

Speak common please.
You type like that again and I'm coming after you.
What the hell are you talking about?
Nope. Not gonna do it.
Alcohol and typing don't mix.
Don't type at me with that tone of voice.
I hope a mob kills you and you can't type 'flee'.
Did you know you can buy a dictionary at Walmart for $1.99?
There's no way I'm going to do that.
Maybe YOU think doing that is possible.
Shea. Right. And monkies are going to fly out my..nevermind. I know better than that.
I wouldn't do that if this was a life or death situation.
You get the feeling someone is rolling their eyes at you…
Good! Now do that exact same thing again, except this time type it correctly.
OK, lets do some role reversal. I'll type things incorrectly this time, and you can bitch at ME.
There are many things you can mix alcohol with. Typing isn't one of them.


> wimpy 80%
Don't be a pansy.

> put **** in *****
It won't fit.

As a Druid:
>save

A Pixie flutters in, giggling its ass off.
Being a Druid and protecter of the forest, you resist the urge to swat it.
A Pixie quickly records your progress and zips away.


As an Artificer:
> save

Your research has been saved in the Great Clock of Time.
You only hope Gnomes do not raid it for parts…

As a Monk:
> save

One night, you happen to get quite drunk and tell stories of all your exploits to the brothers and sisters at the local monastery.
Shame on you!

As a Werewolf:
> save

A villager says 'Killed my best livestock it did. Heard it bit off the head of the neighbor's cat too.
You bare your fangs and smile…

As a Summoner:
> save

You conjure the most powerful and useful summon in existence!
A save point appears.

As a Psionicist:
> save

Your deeds are saved. Or are they? Were they really saved on their own, or did you will them to be saved?
Or did you want them to be saved so badly that you perceived them to be so?
They were saved, but you thought they might not be, because they really were, but you thought they weren't?
0.0/15