.DT Practical help Practical Guide to World Peace Page 4 Practical help .SP 5 5 Presented here is a step by step guide to world peace, it will help anyone with even a slight interest in world peace achieve the eventual goal of complete and lasting world peace. .EP 10 Steps to success .SI 5 1) Be yourself. .EI .SP 8 5 An important part of any self help plan is to help yourself, you have to help yourself achieve world peace. No one else is going to achieve world peace for you. .EP .SI 5 2) Help seals always .EI .SP 8 5 If you ever see a cute adorable fluffy seal in trouble, be sure to help them. .EP .SI 5 3) Avoid assassins .EI .SP 8 5 Never smile at an assassin, they have more small knives and sharp bladey things than a crocodile. Always look blank and unconcerned when they are around. Never ever interfere if they are trying to... well, you know. .EP .SI 5 4) Collect spatulas .EI .SP 8 5 No good world peace brigade is possible without extensive use of spatulas. Try and build up a sizable collection and then come and swap with me for some rare and endangered spatulas. .EP .SI 5 7) Meditate facing towards Bologna .EI .SP 8 5 Meditate for world peace every day by pointing yourself towards the holy town of Bologna and thinking peaceful thoughts. Remember not to fall asleep as this disturbs the pattern of meditation. .EP .SI 5 8) Eat bologna .EI .SP 8 5 Eating bologna as often as possible is a great way to show everyone else about world peace. Buying one of our celebratory flags and waving them at people is also a good method. Remember that you must try to associate bologna and world peace in the mind of all comers by. .EP .SI 5 9) Stop fights .EI .SP 8 5 Stop all fights before they have even begun, intervene as soon as you see the opponents lining up, if you can stop a fight before it has begun that is one more link up on the ladder to world peace. If we are to reach that shining grail at the end of the ladder we must stop fights and climb each rung. It is estimated that there is approximately 7 million rungs on the ladder, but don't be disillusioned! Every rung removed is a rung someone else does not need to remove. .EP .SI 5 10) Don't fight back .EI .SP 8 5 Remember to lead by example, don't fight back. If someone starts killing you, let them. Explain to them how futile killing you is, how it will just add another rung to the ladder. Offer them some bologna. If you die, do not worry. You will have achieved pure and lasting world peace in the afterlife. .EP .EI
